Gay Men, Witchcraft, and the Divine: A Fight for Freedom

Hey everyone, here's Elhoim. Without further unnecessary introduction, here's a simple post to read.

Disclaimer: This post was one of those hundreds of old drafts I had not finished because I went off on a ramble; as usual, the original post is from 2011, so I just take it down and rewrite it all again, checking each paragraph one by one.

Nowadays, we're still fighting for the right to connect with something bigger than ourselves. I mean, who would've thought? It's like, we've come so far, but there's still this weird, old-school idea floating around that men, especially gay men, don't belong in the realm of spirituality. It’s like we're stuck in some outdated script where a rigid mold defines our masculinity. And to be honest, it feels pretty wild and weird.

I've always been drawn to the magic of the world. It's in how the sunlight filters through the trees on the patio every morning or how moon cycles can lead, bless, nurture, or even block our different projects. It’s in the feeling of connection to something vast and mysterious. But when I started exploring witchcraft and Brujeria many years ago, I quickly realized that it wasn't exactly a welcoming space for a gay guy.

Leo Louis Martello, Wiccan priest, gay rights activist, and author.

Founding member of the Strega Tradition.

There's this weird and unspoken rule that men, in general, don't belong in witchcraft. And if you're gay? Forget about it. You're an alien, and people constantly will try to make an effort to remind you that you don’t belong. I am an immigrant, so in all honesty, I have experienced the topic of feeling rejected while listening at the front. “But we are not racists”. We’re expected to stick to the sidelines and cheer on the magic makers but never get our hands dirty.

It’s frustrating because, for me, connecting with the divine is about freedom. It's about breaking free from the chains of expectation and embracing who you indeed are. For me, the divine is femininity in all sacredness, in every aspect, and connecting with it/her should feel like embracing a wild love, but instead, people around want to make you feel weird about it. You're constantly judged and pushed into a box; it's hard to feel that freedom sometimes, especially for new seekers. It’s like trying to fly with weights tied to your ankles all the time.

I am an eclectic-solitary practitioner. I can work with a coven but feel more freedom and power working alone. There is no unnecessary noisy judgment in it; it is just me presenting myself to my deities, and I do not need any approval. But when I work in bigger mixed groups with women included, I constantly feel some kind of silent rejection and judgment.

Eddie Buczynski. American Wiccan-witch and archaeologist. Founder of two separate traditions of Wicca:

Welsh Traditionalist Witchcraft and The Minoan Brotherhood.

I see it constantly and ignore it, but then I get seriously distracted thinking of every other man in the room. I understand that not everybody grows up with the same supportive system I found in my mom; she was always there to support me. But imagine a straight man in his 50s-70s coming out of the broom’s closet looking for connections and feeling shame about it. Or younger seekers in their 20s, gay, bisexual, or straight, feeling like this environment, supposedly made to empower and encourage freedom, is just trying to make them feel excluded.

There have been some fantastic gay men out there who are defying the odds and carving out their own space in the spiritual world. They're not afraid to be themselves, to embrace their queerness and their magic. They're inspiring, and they give me hope. But let's be honest: It's still an uphill battle.

It's important to remember that we're not alone. There's a growing community of queer people who are reclaiming their spirituality. We're finding paths, creating rituals, and supporting each other. It's a beautiful thing to witness.

J. Allen Cross, Mexican-Native American Brujo/Witch, is the author of American Brujeria and The Witch's Guide to the Paranormal. His presence in the metaphysical community encouraged other non-typical white straight male practitioners to embrace their power and come out as witches, too.

So, to all the gay men who feel drawn to the magic, I want to say that You belong. Your voice is essential and is just a beautiful projection of the voice of your ancestors. Your magic is valid, potent, and unique. You should never let anyone tell you differently. It's time to break free from expectations and embrace your true power. We should be constantly working to create a world where everyone can explore their spirituality without fear or judgment, without that illness that is the constant searching for validation.

Reclaiming Our Magic as Gay Men

You know, there’s this weird irony in it all. I often listen when they say we're soft, weak, and unable to handle the raw power of nature. But let's be honest, and we've been handling a lot more than our fair share of bullshit. We've been marginalized, silenced, and told who we can and can't be for centuries. I don't know what does if that doesn't build character and resilience.

When I was younger and before I came out of the closet, I constantly remember all these brujas (mom’s colleagues) visiting home and saying over and over that men don't belong in the circle, anyway my mom was and still always is very supportive of having men in the circle to bring as she says in her own words “a more stubborn and rigid energy to support the women’s work”. Also, traditionally, many male spirits of classic spiritualism don't want to possess women’s bodies during rituals, and they have their reasons, which are very reflective of their living times.

Vincent Higginbottam. He is an openly gay witch and the author of 'How Witchcraft Saved My Life,' in which he discusses the struggles of growing up gay and finding strength and support in the path of the Craft.

Our history is filled with stories of queer people who were healers, seers, and spiritual workers. We've been banished to the fringes multiple times, but our magic has never truly disappeared. It's in our blood, in our souls. It's that spark of defiance, that refusal to conform, that ability to see the world through a different lens. And it’s about time we reclaimed it.

We need to create spaces where gay men can explore their spirituality without fear—places where we can share our experiences, learn from each other, and support one another. We need to challenge the stereotypes, break down the barriers, and redefine what it means to be a man, a queer man, and a witch.

It's going to take time, and it won't be easy. There will be setbacks, and there will be haters. But we're stronger together, we're resilient, and we're not going anywhere. So, let's keep shining our light, casting our spells, and building a community where everyone feels welcome. It's time to rewrite the story, to create a new narrative where queer men are celebrated for their magic, not feared or rejected.

So, let's rewrite the script together and collectively. Let's redefine what it means to be a man. Let's embrace our vulnerability, strength, and capacity for connection. The divine is waiting for us, arms wide open. Here below is a breakdown of how traditional notions of masculinity can hinder spiritual growth and how we can embrace a more holistic way of being:

Aspect	How Traditional Masculinity Hinders Spiritual Growth	Alternative: Embracing Vulnerability and Connection
Emotions	Suppressing emotions can lead to disconnection from oneself and others.	Being open and honest about your feelings is a sign of strength.
Connection	Men are often told to be self-sufficient and avoid asking for help.	Spiritual communities offer a space for connection and support.
Healing	Past wounds can make it challenging to connect with something larger than oneself.	Healing is a journey that allows us to open ourselves up to the divine.

Let's talk about this "tough guy" act because we need to. Society tells men to be emotionless robots and never show weakness. But that has always been a recipe for disaster. It cuts us off from our true selves and genuine connection. Imagine trying to connect with something bigger than yourself while holding onto all that baggage. It's like trying to fly with a lead weight strapped to your back. That babe, is definitely not going to happen.

Here's the thing: vulnerability isn't weakness. It's strength. It's about being open and honest about your feelings, fears, and hopes. It's about letting yourself be seen, indeed seen, for who you are. And guess what? That's exactly what spirituality is all about: connection, is a lot about authenticity, and is also a lot about vulnerability.

Being a man doesn't mean going it alone. We all need support and a sense of belonging. Spiritual communities can offer a space to connect with other men more deeply. We can share our experiences, learn from each other, and lift each other. It's about brotherhood, not bravado.

Is it 2024, and is okay to admit we've all been hurt? We've all carried burdens from the past. Those wounds can make it hard to open ourselves up to the divine. But healing is possible. It's a journey, not a destination, but worth taking. Therapy, meditation, and spending time in nature are all tools that can help us heal.

With Kindness & Understanding, Elhoim Leafar.

Read also:

• The Amazon's Traditional Dream Interpreter.
• BIPOC/Black & Brown Voices in Witchcraft.
• Appropriation & Culture in Witchcraft.
• Gatekeepers in Witchcraft.
• 8 Easy-to-do Spells for Abundance.
• 6 Folk Magic Spells from Venezuela.
• Eleggua's Coconut for Protection & Healing.
• Yara / Queen Maria Lionza.

And Click Here to Grab a copy of my book Dream Witchery: Folk Magic, Recipes & Spells from South America for Witches & Brujas'