Fake it till you make it - Or quit the process, dealing with the expectations of the North American Witchcraft Community.

"Oh yes, he is just complaining all the time right?."

Or simply you are too white to understand from the privileged position you have. Cause what I feel, many more feel it, the only difference between them and me is that I stopped caring a long time ago about the validation of others, they, on the other hand, those who remain silent, simply do it for monetary convenience.

The "biggest" pagan platforms, or simply the most publicized, are owned by white cis straight people. But yes go to write there about acceptance, equality, diversity, and other stuff.

The biggest events in the pagan community are created by white cis gay and straight men (It seems that asking for more support from women in this community is some kind of insult to the status quo), not all bad, but we know that for them "diversity" is not the same as it is for us.

For us, diversity is walking into a room and immediately finding someone to talk to about something in common, someone who has the same perspective or common ground on something, whether you are brown, black, white, queer, trans, non-binary, etc. It is knowing that you enter a place and there are two or more people there with whom you can talk and create a small safe space.

For them, diversity is repeating over and over "We are not racists", "we are not transphobic", and "we are not white supremacists", they repeat it so incessantly trying to convince themselves, the problem is that they only convince each other, they don't convince us.

For them, diversity is bringing a person of color, or a trans person and using it as a token of representation, not because they value the presence of this person there, or how much this person can enrich the community, but because it is simply a flag they can use as a shield against any criticism.

Look at me, I'm not racist, I have a person of color next to me.

Look at me, I'm not transphobic, I have a trans person next to me.

Look at me, I don't endorse any kind of racism, but I feel like it's not wrong for me - a white person - to keep using the term "yellow people" in public, what can be wrong with that?

As I have mentioned multiple times over the past year, I am not and do not belong to the holistic-esoteric community in North America. I tried to belong because of the pressure of wanting to be part of something, being a tribal person, and living with a larger group. big, accustomed to sharing bread, rum, wine, and coffee with everyone, and without leaving aside meritocracy for that reason (work with everyone, work hard, for our common goal, and we all share the harvest), and come here, to North America, where it is more of a constant, superficial, empty, boring, annoying game of who has more than who; who has more money, who has more followers, who has more Facebook friends, who have published more books,... It's just so annoying, the conversation is boring, the constant exchange of stupid memes of "I'm a better witch than you", "I know what power is, you don't", Oh my, it's exhausting, it's like being a teacher in a school where there are only six children and one toy, and it's recessed all day, and everyone is there fighting over the same toy all day is, exhaustingly boring.

The level of racism and entitlement, the arguments via DM, the boring wars between narcissists sharing screenshots everywhere, the double-sided people who text you every day about how inspired they feel by you, while they are texting with the person who is insulting you at the same time.

One day they are writing to you about how wonderful it is to have so many things in common and how much they respect you, the next day they are unfollowing you on all social media and arguing that you are nobody and lack credentials if you do not have a College title with you... To write books on witchcraft?.

One day they are your friends everywhere, and the next day they are mocking you on video on all social media, mocking your physical appearance, threatening with... Screenshots? (cause that is the modern tool of all these all-powerful witches), and asking their followers not to consume your content, and not to attend your classes, don't buy your books.

The entitlement that the same person takes the matter so high stakes, and so unserious, that they get drunk in front of the camera and lie in their bathtub for attention desperately staring at the camera like hateful psychopaths inciting others to hurt you, and then they run to pretend that they are the victim.

This shit is exhausting, this shitty people is truly exhausting.

So if you try to stay on your feet, share a positive message, and not focus on the negativity, you are just then a hippie who only promotes "peace and love", oh these shitty people are really exhausting and they are really mentally ill.

If you have a disagreement with your friends in real life, a different political preference, or a different football team, all is well and they joke about it, but if you have the slightest disagreement with one of these racists, they immediately cancel you via DM with all their followers, they ask stores not to carry your books, they make their podcaster friends not to interview you, some even make fun of you in public and you must apparently shut up and smile, say nothing, and people get mad at you if you decide not to perform at the same event as them.

A couple of months ago this girl that I have never messaged, literally ever, just to win her place at an event said that "I just told him to fuck off" (referring about me to the organizer), then she is "threatening to curse me and ruin my life?"... Via Tiktok? I only know that two months later I was opening my second massage place in Manhattan and signing the loan for my first house, so, was that her all-powerful curse?.

Gurrrll, if you gonna curse someone, don't say it in public, is a pity and a bit pathetic, what you want is just more attention.

I don't know, I just keep getting conflicted every time someone texts me "Thank you for all you do for this community" when I'm literally doing nothing but writing and sharing the content I want to create, just that.

Except for my Our Sorcery Hour event, which turned out to be much better received than I expected, and gave me the chance to donate $794 to The Trevor's Project, I really don't feel like I'm doing anything for this community, nor do I mean to, I'm just trying to keep a safe space around my virtual space and be very welcoming to everyone, not one of these superficial "everyone is welcome" where racists and transphobes can come in, but an "everyone is welcome, as long as they behave like adults, respect the opinions of others and are not insulting each other."

The witchy/pagan community in the US, and I've said it multiple times, is rusty, fueled by hate, prejudice, and established on institutionalized racism, led mostly by straight white men who have no idea - nor any interest - in changing the rules of the game, in the end, these rules are always going to be more convenient for them, in the end, I am neither a straight man nor a white American man, and this is not the overrated Patheos Pagan where a privileged white girl tells people of color how to behave and what words to use, this is just a small independent blog of "yet another" queer Latino brujo who just wants to do witchcraft, work with my clients, and teach those who are interested in learning. At the end of the day, no one is going to read this either cuz I am not white or straight, or friends with any of the racist best-selling authors of witchcraft.

I am not focused on your little personality cults masked as "supportive moral platforms", I am more interested in supporting real people sharing folk, lore, the craft, and their individual experiences of magic, nothing else. Please stop with the cults.